Afterword.

After thinking about it, I still find it difficult to let go. Even now, there is still an impulsive thought when I think about it. But it's been several years, and such disturbance seems childish and presumptuous.

I thought you would still be the same as before, so I replied with a joking remark, but you didn't reply. It was then that I realized I was trapped, while you remained uninvolved.

Even my start in writing is related to him. It's a bit embarrassing to say, because it was his online alias that led me onto the path of writing. At that time, when I was young, I always felt that if I became excellent, there might still be a chance for everything. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned.

Li Yingze, have you ever liked me? Or, when you reminisce about your youth, do you also think of me? Do you still keep the letter I wrote to you? Or has it long turned to dust? Do you still have the painting I gave you? Do you still have the scarf I gave you?

Three years have passed, and the path of writing is even more heartbreaking than my unrequited love history. It can even be considered as completely clueless. After being severely hurt by the website, I fell into self-doubt and even started to feel anxious.

After finishing writing this article and going back to read it, I found that what I wrote was incoherent and the words did not convey the intended meaning. Perhaps what I wanted to express was the inability to let go, the nostalgia for youth. If I could go back in time, I should be able to do better and more meaningful things than now, without any regrets. Unfortunately, there is no time machine, and no one can go back to the past.

Youth is an unsolvable proposition. This statement is true. I often wonder whether it is my own obsession that runs too deep, or if it is difficult to let go of youth.

Also secretly make a wish, hoping that you will always be safe and smooth, safe every year. I originally didn't want to wish you happiness, but after some thought, I felt that I didn't want you to be like me. So, I'll make an exception this time and wish you eternal happiness, wishing you to be not just a friend, but the protagonist forever.

So I skillfully entered the contact information in the place where I add friends, and found a seemingly glamorous excuse for bothering myself, which is that I want to write a book. I never thought he would agree to such a lame excuse, but he did.

On top of the message "You have been successfully added as a friend", facing the awkwardness, I could only send a sentence: "Sorry to bother you again. It's just that my mind went blank. Perhaps the most unforgettable thing about youth is your shadow." Not long after, I received a reply, "It's okay. I just hope you can move forward. After all, the past will not come back."

Why is the title called "Unrequited Love at the Equator"? Because the person I have a crush on is known by everyone, but the onlookers see more than the players, so only I am trapped.

In the matter of unrequited love, I believe I am brave, but being brave does not mean there will be no regrets. What I regret is your vague feelings, your ambiguous rejection, and your indecisive hesitation.

We are both like this, very strange. Perhaps he doesn't mind having one more friend on his list, so this is the result. Faced with the excitement and the prominent message in the chat box saying "I have accepted your friend request, now we can start chatting", I feel embarrassed.

Suddenly, I remembered after we separated, in my endless entanglement, Li Yingze said to me, "This love can only be cherished as a memory, but at that time, it was already lost." At that time, I searched countless times on Baidu for its meaning. Does this prove that in the countless moments I looked at him, there was also a moment when he turned back because of me.

I still remember using a pseudonym to chat with him as an online friend. At that time, I wanted to share with him, but I preferred to play with boys because girls are very delicate and I was afraid that I wouldn't think things through. He replied to me at that time, "You are very similar to a friend of mine." I don't know if that friend is me or not. I don't know why, but as we walked along, we reached the end and there was no continuation.

If one day in the future, you are fortunate enough to come across this article, I hope that by that time I have already moved forward. The past cannot be changed, but the future can still be pursued. I also hope that you can meet someone more deserving.

In the recent past, perhaps due to psychological factors, or perhaps because I saw the people around me and the person I used to like being together, a sense of wishful thinking started to sprout in my heart, and the desire to overcome reason grew.

I suddenly wonder if writing has become an obsession for me, just like my love for him. However, I am a stubborn person. The more I can't get it, the more I itch to prove myself.